worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
