He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
