somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Houston, we have a blender
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
