I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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