I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
