never play flip cup with pint glasses
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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