two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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