Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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