I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
