I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
