Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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