she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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