man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
