My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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