I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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