Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
