Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
