Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
How external is "for external use only"?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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