I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
