apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
