I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize