She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
