Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
