she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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