I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
