Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She said her name was "party"
im six kinds of drunk right now
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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