No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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