i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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