hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
