Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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