I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
