I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
