All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have demons in me.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
