kristin has been a bad kristin
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
