So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
How's work?
Spinning.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
