Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
