i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize