That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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