So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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