i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
