i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
my liver is dry heaving
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
