Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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