the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
