I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
