I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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