im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
