Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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