I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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