So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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