Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also, beer. Big fan.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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