I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
