You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
