the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
high people should be assigned attendants
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
