you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
