He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
