what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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