HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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