I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
this will be a night to untag.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
