Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize