You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Shame - the story of my life.
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