you guys were way drunker than both of me
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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