Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Randomize
