Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
