laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Randomize
