Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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