I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
