You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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