I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
