I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My penis needs a shock collar
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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