In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
