Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
