Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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