I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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