this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
ttyl tear gas
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
