So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
